Give a shit...about your sexual satisfaction

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Give a shit about your sexual satisfaction by first defining what that means to you.

I've made no secret of the fact that I used to consider myself the queen of faking it. I'd turn on the vocal cords and make faces, which looking back probably made me look like I was constipated.

It never felt right to fake it but I did it for so many different reasons. One of these reasons is because it's what I thought I should do. It wasn't until I learnt more about myself and my own body and focusing less on the "should" and fitting in that I began to have much more fulfilling sexual experiences.

But when I say more fulfilling sexual experiences that does not mean I orgasm every time I have sex. Because I don't. Some of my most intense, memorable and amazing play times haven't necessarily been the ones in which I've orgasmed.

This morning was a classic example. Mr C and I had this amazing intense kissing and sex session but after he came, I got my vibrator out and was happily playing until our minds turned to talking about something else equally intense and before I knew it my vibrator had numbed my clit and the moment was gone. But still it was a beautiful, amazing experience and when I got out of bed I felt very much satisfied. 

The problem I feel with the proliferation of the sex advice swirling around the net is that it is made out to sound like each scene and ritual and sex session that you have should have an equally amazing beginning, middle and an end. 

But sex is not like that. It's not crafted in a factory and made by Mattel, it's raw emotion at its most vulnerable and finest. It's messy and intense and if you're truly in the moment there's never any way of predicting how it's going to play out. And I personally wouldn't want it any other way.

 

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