My 20s was rife with embarrassing moments and dissatisfaction when it came to sex. Firstly I thoughtgood sex was determined by penis size and then I was convinced that the kinky thoughts in my mind would freak out my lover so I kept my mouth shut. Oh and apparently everyone I knew had the most amazing sex lives ever with the most amazing mind-blowing orgasms EVERY.DAY.OF.THE.WEEK.
In my mind, all my lovers were totally crap and inattentive; selfish boys who only cared about the end goal. But the problem wasn’t that they were crap, inattentive and selfish, it was that we hadn’t found a way to talk about what we both wanted when it came to sex. I hate to have go all sex therapist on you but communication kicks arse in most aspects of life and it, along with a sense of fun and open mind, reigns supreme in the bonking room too.
But how do you tell the love of your life you’d like to tie them up and spank them all while watching kinky porn or that you fantasise about someone watching you have sex or that you’d like a threesome with another girl (yes, yes, as I’ve repeatedly said, the last one is my personal favourite)? Over the years I’ve discovered that so many people don’t speak up; instead they bury their desires mostly out of fear because opening the discussion can be very tricky.
And that’s why we came up with the BAD [Better And Dirtier] Sex Project. We wanted to create a way for couples (and singles) to ask for the things they want without having to say it out loud. To do this we’ve crafted a bunch of mainly multi-choice questions to be answered by both parties on our secure website. The questions range from basic to more complex and daring topics. You may only be slightly interested or just a little curious to try some things but what we suggest is to have an open mind and if you’re even just a little curious then tick it.
Once all parties have submitted the answers we’ll look for the areas in which you share common interests. This ensures the awkward conversation and risk of embarrassment is obliterated. Perhaps one partner is a lot more traditional than the other and that certainly doesn’t mean the more risqué things can’t be tried, it just means we’ll suggest some things to ease you both into it. Down the track you’ll both have a lot more confidence in asking for all the things you want. The suggestions will be simple, easy and fun. If you express an interest is attending an event listed we’ll do our very best to help find one in your area. And remember the entire process is completely confidential, private and free.
To be on your way to BAD [Better And Dirtier] Sex just click here and always remember what the wise Woody Allen once said: “Is sex dirty? Only when it’s good.”
*Better And Dirtier
image thanks to Tim Walker